It has been said that we don't interact face to face anymore. Recently this writer walked into a dining situation with people who were unknown to us and shared a table. The conversation was so negative, it was unbearable, so I drew on a skill from college days and began focusing on exceptions. The gentleman on my left was droning on about the evils of technology. Quickly I interjected, our daughter is a novelist. She would be hard pressed to turn out novels quickly without the aid of a computer. For some people such as the disabled, technology has been life changing. Two chairs to the right, a man piped up "that's different". In other words that was a good use of technology. That tiny intervention turned the conversation positive for the rest of the hour.
This technique is useful. Rather than joining a gripe session, or chiming in on what is wrong, try changing the tone. Imagine the outcome if politicians, the faith community, co-workers, neighbors and families began the simple practice. Some might call it heart. Others may refer to it as the art of communication.
Whether the topic is world peace, neighborhood mediation, a healthy work place, safe neighborhood or peace in the family, it is imperative to build on whatever is good.
Here are a few basic principles:
Focus on what is positive
Believe in what is possible
Bring out the best in others
Set boundaries to quash negative behavior
Live by example
The art of communication is technique, theory or savvy. Heart is relational, compassionate, and respectful. Both aspects are necessary. Neither is sufficient in isolation. HEART is both necessary and sufficient.
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